Hello All!-or One or two or ALL. Hello to whoever may be here right now. I hope all is well and everyone is healthy and happy.
Today, I am going to talk about Complaining-but don't worry, I am not actually going to be complaining about anything. It something I really try not to do for reasons which will be covered in today' s lesson-
Complaining 101
-and just for fun, I am going to be unnecessarily "formal" in the format presentation of this topic; )
Let's get started, shall we?
What is complaining?
- 1.express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something."
- local authorities complained that they lacked sufficient
- resources"
^^^From Oxford Dictionary
Why do we do it?
When someone is bothered by something, they tend to let others know it bothers them.
What are the effects?
This can be answered in many ways , so i am going to break this down into two groups, which I call "Inefffective (or improper) Complaining" and "Effective (or proper Complaining"
We will start with the most common-Ineffective/improper complaining.
This is the see-it-every-day type of complaining: the unruly customer, the kids who don't want to do something, nosy neighbors, "underpaid and underappreciated" coworkers, those types of situations. They all have something negative to say about something or another. What effect does this have? Well aside from irritating anyone on the receiving end, or causing another's lightbulb to go off as they realize, "oh yeah... that is true. I should complain about it too", the ultimate effect or end result is... wait for it.... .
...nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
In order to summarize the meaning of Ineffective /improper complaining, we will continue its definition using a few of its most accurate synonyms and phrases: "pissing and moaning", whining, b*tching, and quite simply, "talking sh*t".
Effective/proper complaining is much more rare. And unlike it's counterpart, its a bit more complicated. In order for it to be deemed as effective/proper, it must contain three key elements-
1) It must have a valid reason behind it or done with a legitimate purpose,
2) It must be directed towards the appropriate person, and
3) it must be followed with a reasonable solution.
These may seem obvious, but meeting this criteria is much more difficult than one might think. Usually one, two or all of these elements are missing, thus in-effectuating it in its entirety.
Now that you have their definitions, let's take a situation and compare both types of complaining.
example 1-Person A is complaining to a coworker that it is not fair that Person B gets every Saturday off of work.
example 2- Person A would like to have Saturdays off, and complains to his/her boss that he/she notices that person B has Saturdays off, and would like to suggest that the Saturdays be divided up equally so both Person A and Person B will have some Saturdays off.
Do you see the difference?
Example 1 person is going to get nowhere, but irritated, or irritating with that form of Ineffective Complaining.
Example 2 person avoids engaging others in complaints which they are not involved in, has a valid point in the reason for the complaint, AND, most important of all elements, has come up with a reasonable solution.
Now, example 2 person will have a higher chance of getting that complaint heard, unless the boss is a total d-bag and ignores it all together, at which point you tell him/her to take the job and shove it... just kidding. I do NOT recommend that last step. However, if you do have that type of boss, I would definitely reconsider my position with that place, but that's on you.
MY POINT IS.... if you are going to do something, do it right. Do it in fairness, with reason, and maintain professionalism at all times.
And the next time you have someone complaining about something to you, and you are not the person which it should be directed at, there is only one question you should ask them... which will either stun them to shutting up-OR- get them to really think about their answer. Either of the outcomes will generally get them out of your hair. Your golden question...
"So what are YOU going to do about it?"
Bye for now! Take care!😉
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