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Any other time than this.

  For a long time, I have been aching to start writing again. I would say, "if I had a laptop", or "when I can find the right...

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Put yourself out there.

 I am sure we have all been told, or told someone else, to "Put yourself out there!". Whether it was an introverted friend or one who is still mourning a rough break-up. Maybe someone who just needs to suck it up and go get a job.  Whatever the case may be, it is a situationally universal phrase as much as it is the most motivational sentence we can  appropriately muster up at that moment.  Think of a time when you have said or even been told exactly this. 
When it comes right down to it, putting yourself out there is actually pretty easy...no, really, it is. But then... 
What happens when you are out there? Dun..dun... duuuuuuunnnnn!!!
Honestly, this is the true hard part.  Think of it this way-
Say you are planning a self-guided trip to some remote island or wherever. You have completed all the necessary packing, preparing for the trip, and now you just have to get on that plane and go. Which, you do. Easy peasy. Next you just have to jump out of the plane because the only way to get there is by plane and there is literally no place for it to land. So, with parachute ready, you are staring out over this huge island, and all you have to do is jump, aka put yourself out there. While it seems like the hardest part, as scary as it is, it could fail in comparison to what you don't know is out there. With a bit of hesitation, you close your eyes and jump. After a moment of freefall, you begin to feel a bit of relief realizing it really isn't so bad and the view from there is really quite lovely. Congratulations, you are officially "out there". ahhhhh.
But then, it all changes again. Now that you are out there, the real difficult thoughts and questions come into play. Where am I going to land? Am I going to be safe? What am I getting myself into? What is waiting for me on the ground??? Even if you manage to pull yourself together landing with both feet on the ground and not in a tree, you are still faced with more of those self-doubting questions.  So now you are on this remote island with no direction, limited supplies, and plagued by your own fears of the unknown.  But... the adventure has just started. 
Our lives and our world is much the same as this situation. Exactly almost, except with some variations. You may embark on your journey as a lone traveler, or be one of the few who is fortunate enough to have found the perfect partner who will brave the elements by your side. You could be jumping out of the plane to find that perfect partner, a remote "singles" island maybe. :)
The difficulty lies in all the unknowns.  The waiting... for something...for anything... hopefully not for nothing, right. And how long should I wait?  When I mentioned "self-doubting" questions, its because that is what we are doing. If you are going to put yourself out there, put your best foot forward, and make sure that foot is wearing the right shoe. Instead of asking yourself questions, give yourself answers. 
I AM going to land okay. I AM going to keep myself safe. I AM ready for what I'm getting myself into. 
And maybe you do end up in a tree or walk five miles just to reach a literally unscaleable mountain that blocks the journey you mapped out. Then what? Do you lie there and wait for the elements to take over your being. Hopefully not. Instead, you change direction.  Does that mean you screwed up and mapped a horrible route and its all your fault?  It means that sometimes, the path you chose was interrupted by those unexpected, unforeseen and frustrating  things called "Life". And it happens, more than we are comfortable with and often more than we are prepared for. 
Those interruptions and detours become what you make of them.  A learning experience, a painful memory, a bad choice, a chance to do better, a chance to start over... Its all about what you want to get from it, and how much you will allow yourself to be humbled and grow instead of retreat. 
I am about halfway between old and young, but I have lived through ages, or at least it seems. I have changed my career many times, changed addresses more than 250 times, and still always seem to be reaching for something greater, yet completely out of reach.  Still, I keep going. Even when I don't know how the hell I am going to have the emotional strength to open my eyes for another sunrise. But, so far, I have, and still do.  And so can you .
 I have been a writer since the third grade. Inspired by a phenomenal teacher who simply took an interest in what I was writing and encouraged me to take it as far as I could.  Over the years I dabbled in it here and there but have never fully immersed myself in it. Honestly, I am not sure why not, as it has always done wonderful things for me on an emotional and mental level. There have been a few submissions here and there, some small writings that maybe no one would ever read, but maybe. All in all, I have never quite dedicated enough of myself to make anything serious of it. But, I would like to change that, with this.  
I never make promises about anything because, well, life happens, and I don't want circumstances to be the reason for disappointment. Especially if it is someone's disappointment in me for not following through on a promise.  So I won't promise a blog a day or that I will still be writing here for the next five years...but I do promise to try-because that is a promise that cannot be interrupted by life. 
Thanks for being here. 
See you soon:)




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