Demand Less... Get More

 Hello my dear ones! Hope all is well with each and every one of you.

Today I would like to start with a touchy subject… and then in usual fashion… go off on a completely semi-related tangent…

“Aging”

You know, it is a funny thing that even as you get older,  there are still those rare occurrences when you learn something new about yourself. Even if it is something you may already know, for some reason, it just "clicks" at one point. And no, i don't' believe the chance of this happening ever really ceases to exist, because as long as you maintain a desire to  continue to grow as a person, and then actually DO grow, it's definitely a forever possibility

That being said...

A bit about me, as  I know myself thus far...

I am very stubborn. There is no denying it.  And to catalyze it even further, I am also pretty intelligent.  The two combined make for a perfect storm of someone who, when they are right, or legitimately think they are right, will refuse to back down, or go against anything which opposes a fact, or concept.  It is a terrible blessing. 

So it should be no surprise that my path in life is paved by those who have no desire to  make things easy for me, and have more encounters with people that, for whatever reason,  find necessity in creating turbulence or instigating undue challenges.

But this is on the big picture of things, which I tend to be aware of, but do not allow it to be too influential on me. Awareness is 75% of winning the battle. 

So going back to the topic of the title...don't worry, I will get there eventually.

My nature is truly to be kind, and helpful.  I not only love being able to help people, but it is something that is instinctive to me.  I see an issue, and my first response is to try to resolve it, no matter who, what or how many are involved.  This tendency  also creates a panache  to  get things done.

I rarely complain about what needs to be done.  Rather than make a big deal about what is left undone, I would simply just do it. 

Unfortunately, this methodology is not universal. 

I enjoy doing things for people, going above and beyond without the need to be asked. I have a natural ability to recognize a need and I act upon it.

Such is the case in most instances, except...

…Expectations...

Did you know that Expectation is the first  ingredient for disappointment? Think about that for a moment. 

I am willing to do anything that needs to be done, for anyone who needs it. Untill...

….they ask for it or…

even worse, when they get upset when it is not done.

My former partner used to say that I would always not do something just because he wanted me to do it. There is a pinch, just a small pinch, of truth to that. The difference was that he believed this was something I did intentionally just despite him. Which was not the case by any means.  Now, I cannot confirm or deny that it may be my subconscious at play in that situation, because I really don’t know for certain.

The funny thing is that this is not unique to me or any of my personal situations. One of the most prominent examples is that of a teenager being asked to do something.  I have a 16 year old son and I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful he is, but that's for another post on a later day. Anyways, 9 times out of 10, when I ask him to dump the garbage or do some kind of chore, he will say,

“Well I was going to do it until you asked…or REQUIRED me to do it” sarcastically serious.

To which my rebuttal is almost always…

“Well, I know how you don’t like to be asked or reminded to do things, so I try not to. But at the same time, I can’t always wait around for you to feel like you want to do it, and I shouldn't have to do everything by myself, therefore I am forced to intervene.  So don't get all grumpy when I do, OR just get it done BEFORE I have to ask you!”

Talk about a twisted version of the chicken and the egg conundrum…sheesh.

BUUUUT… 

I can't say that I don’t completely disagree with him either, which is why I don't give him a hard time about most things.  Choose your battles right? And I don't want to be one of those nagging parents-                  

it's just as bad as that annoying micromanager who barely does their own job and surely doesn't know how to do yours, but they still try to tell you what to do.

So while there is no real moral to this story today,  instead, I leave you with a question to ponder…

“If we actually are unintentionally avoiding the things people ask us to do, why is our subconscious set in autopilot mode to do just that?”

Until next time…

Take care!