Hello Everyone! I am truly grateful to all or any of those who have found their way back to my little corner of the world. It means so much to me.
Today, we are going to discuss broken pieces. For some this is literal, and for others, metaphorical… for the purpose of today, my dear blogees, they can be one and the same. Because a broken heart, for example, is a literal existence, but also metaphorical in certain contexts.
Ok, so we all go through different things in our lives, some people are fortunate to have never experienced true hard times or misfortune, so to them I say, WTF MAN!!! Lol. JK. But those few people are very fortunate. For the rest of us, who have either had a few rough times, or have been through the ringer, this blog is for you, and me of course.
Merriam Webster provides today’s definition:
BROKEN
- violently separated into parts : shattered
- damaged or altered by or as if by breaking (see break entry 1): such as having undergone or been subjected to fracture
- not working properly
- being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles
- violated by transgression : not kept or honored
- discontinuous, interrupted
- disrupted by change
Yes, yes, yes, all of these. Sometimes individually, and sometimes all at once.
- Shattered- been there.
- Damaged or altered- I would say so,
- Not working properly- you know they make medications for that? Lol
- Being irregular, interrupted or full of obstacles- are you talking about me?
- Violated by transgression- uh, duh.
- Discontinuous, interrupted- story of my life.
- Disrupted by change- meh, nothing I cant handle.
So obviously I've had my fair share of damage. And there may be so many of you out there who have too, and believe it or not, it's OK It IS survivable. And it CAN be fantastic. I have always said that our life is what we make of it. We have literally no control of most things, but it shouldn't matter because it is not what happens to us, it is how we respond to it.
*NOTE!- not how we react to it. Reactions imply a negative response. Why? Have you ever heard of a positive allergic response? Exactly.
Anyways… When something is broken, the one thing that comes with it is the ability to fix it. But if something can not be fixed, why hold onto it?There is nothing wrong with letting something go, especially if it is not conducive to your peace, happiness or wellbeing. I know letting go is extremely difficult. I have let go of so many things in my life, many not by choice. But the ones that were by choice, became something wonderful…. Eventually. Letting go does require a bit of patience, but like I always say, “it's not going to be like this forever.”
I have spoken many times about my son’s father. He's a great man. But 3 years ago, he was the root of my misery, because he himself was miserable. We had spent the better part of 5 years, at least, living in toxicity. We fought all the time, resented each other for making each other miserable, and all the good old fun drama you could expect when you spend literally half of your life with someone. At some point, I couldn't do it anymore. We were the worst case scenario for each other, but despite it all, we loved each other too much to end it. But what I discovered is that there was someone I loved more than him, other than my son of course, but I loved me more. And it wasn't selfish love, because I knew I could not be the best mom I needed to be living that way. How could I teach my son about love and happiness when I was being a total hypocrite being miserable with the person I loved.? I couldn't
So, I made the decision to live for me and I ended the relationship. And how did that end up, you ask? Well, I'm not going to lie, but the first year was really difficult. So many emotions to deal with after 18 years of being together, but I held my ground, and established my boundaries. And surprisingly, he respected them.
Today, I have a best friend. The best friend I had before the relationship. We talk about everything, talk about the people we date, the people we let go, the things that happen in our lives. When one of us is struggling, the other one picks up the slack, both financially and in regards to moral support. And it goes both ways. We have both been broken to pieces in the relationship. And what remained was literally a bunch of broken pieces. But here's the best part. With those pieces, we were able to recreate our own personal somethings. And our two separate somethings, are quite beautiful on their own, because they are built without the toxicity, the anger, the blame and resentment and all those negative things that caused us to break in the first place.
I didn't intend to make this blog about my relationship with him specifically. But it was probably the best example I could use to demonstrate my point, which is….
When things in your life fall apart, look at it as something fantastic. Obviously, whatever you were doing was not working, so it crumbled. When your pieces are lying there in front of you, that is a clean slate. You can take those pieces and turn them into whatever you want. Easier said than done right? Fair enough. But just changing the mindset of how you look at what you have in front of you is a good place to start. Rebuilding will take time, no doubt. But you are going to have to rebuild anyways, might as well be something you can truly be happy with.
Take care little world!
See you soon.
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