En"Rich"ing your better self.

Hello my beautiful world. I hope everyone's days shines bright even if you are nocturnal— like me. Lol Yes, I am nocturnal. Not to be confused by night owls.

What's the difference you ask?  Night owls have some element of control over the hours in which they keep. Nocturnal, much like spiders, have no say in the matter and exist naturally under the light of the moon and not the sun. That is me, and that is who i am. Moving on…

Tonight was interesting. And not so much in a good way but in a very eye opening way. I have a really good friend who has only ever been respectful and fantastic to me. But tonight, I kinda messed up because I let my natural fight or flight instinct kick in when it was absolutely NOT necessary.  When you live a life of protecting yourself, and being your own warrior, it's hard to adjust to genuine, good hearted people. You spend so much time getting hurt, that, while unintentional, your self preservation interferes with people who are just as damaged as you are.

Re-building your strength is never easy. Finding someone who is trying to do the same without walking all over you is even harder. I get scared when people get close. Which is why I don't let people get close. Relationship trauma is something that has plagued me for years and because of my experience in life, I don't forget, but I fail to realize sometimes that there are people who are on a path as I am to meet genuine people with no intention other than to just exist without toxicity and drama, and for that I AM SORRY.
I am not perfect. And I am navigating uncharted territory when I encounter those who are NOT trying to get over on me or trying to kick me when I'm down. But I am learning to recognize this, and I am trying to find that fine line between protecting myself and allowing the good souls in- as few and far between as they are. So at my ripe old age of “none of your business”lol, I am at a pre-kindergarten age of seeing people in a different light other than constant protection mode. 

So to any of those who I encounter, know that I am kind, and good intentioned.  But I am a human who has live ** years of toxicity and I want nothing more on this earth than to change that energy. And I hope, if anyone else is in the same place, be patient with yourself,  and if a situation arises and you walk away feeling like an asshole, you probably are being one, so apologize! Even if life experience tells you otherwise, not everyone in this world is shitty… just saying.
Take care of each other. 
See you soon!!!

The Gift

 In all of my blogs, I like to keep a good variety of subjects and I would say that I hold that to be mostly true.  But just as in life, sometimes there are periods of time, where variation takes a backseat to addressing more important or pressing issues. My intention here is not focused on any one thing in particular, but when matters arise, they should be discussed. 
Before I get started, I want to include a link to a song that is very personal to me. It has been the “theme song” to all of my endeavors, challenges, and my overall position in life. I would like you to listen to it after you read this blog. I hope in some way it resonates with you, and if it does not, just know that the lyrics speak volumes about yours truly.  If you do listen to it before reading the blog, maybe listen to it afterwards as well and see if anything changes for you…
https://youtu.be/KxnpFKZowcs?si=q9tsNafIpyCu9JVa
On a personal level, lately I have been going through a lot of changes, reflection, introspection, and on a rare occasion, emotional meltdowns. While some may encounter similar situations calling it a weakness, I call it being human. And if you do not have those days, you are either lying to yourself, or you are not of this species- and I mean this from the depth of my soul.
There are people, such as myself, who have spent their whole lives being the “rock” for other people.  You are the strength that no one else has, the one who rises against injustices, the person no one ever sees cry, the shoulder to cry on, the one who “always has it together”, and a million other “knight and shining armor” images cast upon you. This is not a lie, or a facade. It is both a blessing and a curse. But more importantly, it is a HUGE responsibility.  This responsibility is accepted not by choice, but by destiny (for lack of a better term). Those who it is bestowed upon are subject to a life of conflict between both good will and loneliness.
The truth is that people need people- emotionally, physically, psychologically and intellectually. Our well-being is directly dependent upon the relationships we have with other people. When we don't have those relationships, we are feral at best. But even when we do have people in our lives, situations arise where something more is needed. When we reach breaking points, or have a decision we need to make or have made, or there's a shift in our norms such as a break up, a death, a job loss, or just the realization that our lives are not what we imagined. All human instances, all potentially painful, all requiring the understanding, and hopefully the compassion of another soul.  We cannot avoid any of these no matter how hard we try. Control is a literal illusion and if these events are meant to occur, they will, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
But….
There are people. People who allow you to temporarily succumb to your sadness, express your anger or your disdain, to live in your moment of whatever emotion you need to express… to be your “rock”- to lean on, to cry to, to shout at, to be silent, to give you strength or solitude, to be whatever it is that you need to be at that time, and to allow you to live in the moment of your emotions so you can deal with them and move forward.
I am one of those people. I have been so my entire life. It is a massive responsibility and one of the loneliest gifts you could ever imagine. The ability to bring comfort to others is an amazing thing and I would not trade it for anything. But all good things come with a price. Every good deed I do, or kindness I show, is done so with the most purest of intention and with absolutely no expectation of return. But that is my own personal way. And while I do not ask for or seek anything in return, I continue to do so with full knowledge that for people like me, there is no reciprocity. I am the most optimistic, silver lining, always finding the good in all, positive being… but for me, there is not going to be someone who can be for me what I can be for others… at least not unconditionally, or permanently, or genuinely, and some days that can be a really hard pill to swallow. 
This acknowledgement will never prevent me from being that someone for someone. I will never shy away or back down from providing comfort to anyone. I will never expect anything in return, or turn anyone away, nor will I ever judge anyone who needs “a person”, because not everyone has been gifted with the strength I have been given, and for that I am truly grateful. 
-but PS. Some days, it sucks to be that strong. Lol.- just keeping it real. 
To all my rocks out there… In case no one has ever told you… Thank you. You are sooooo necessary, so amazing, so lovely, and selfless. There are more of you that exist out there, believe it or not. Stay strong, stay beautiful and stay grateful!! It's worth it, and so are you.
Take care of yourself!
See you soon.

Finding Purpose

hello everyone! I hope everyone is still breathing! lol. If not... why haven't you called me??? lol. jk. In that case,,, lets just get real for a second....
On we go!!
 Little credit is given to those who give it all and do not receive anything in return. This is because those who give it all, never expect anything in return. Their mission in life is selfless. And despite their actual needs, they are never needy. They could live their whole lives attempting to improve the lives of others…  not for any reward, or recognition, but because they are drawn to it. It is natural, and is felt from the core of their being, that the people they encounter or help or even listen to, need to feel something, and even if it is not the entirety of their something, we are willing to give as much as we are in order for them to feel “anything”. 
IF you are still following, my message is this…. I have accepted my place on this earth as a person who will not get everything they desire, nor have an easy life, and despite how hard I work…. As the talented and amazing, yet late Chester Bennington would say…. “I tried so hard, and got so far…. But in the end, it doesnt even matter.”
But theres no real negativity to claim in this statement, because as difficult as my life has been, my hard work may not matter for me in what I do, but I hope I said something or did something for someone…. that did matter. And even if  my life was less than what I have earned I can only hope that what I did or said, did SOMETHING, OR ANYTHING for someone else…
Because life is not about what we get out of it, it's about making the most out of life, even if it's for someone else…
And I am perfectly ok with that….
Take care little world! You are so much bigger than you even know!
PS... I would never discredit the beautiful gifts of people I have in my life, and I am in no way NOT grateful for those gifts- my perfectly amazing miracle of a son, and my appropriately necessary crazy family.... Blessings come from strange places. lol.lol

Plateau (Part1)

 Good evening my dear ones. I hope you are all fantastic!!!I If not, spread kindness. 

Tonight I had an interesting thought- whether you agree on if it is interesting or not will be indicated by where you place your cursor right now. 

Pick me!! Pick me!!!

-Just kidding. No matter what, I am extremely grateful for you if you are reading this right now, so thank you, truly, thank you!

Ok, so do you remember (depending on your age) when there was so much to be excited for?Or when feelings were still "new". The anticipation of something different or a new experience??

If you are not sure what I am talking about, congratulations, you have your whole life ahead of you and you should definitely make the absolute Bestest most out of it!!!

At this point in my life, when I reflect on my overall emotional stats and wellbeing, I find much of it to be a bit oxymoron-ish, yet almost conflicted. I should probably break it down before I confuse myself... which, who only knows what it will do to you! So for the purpose of trying to keep on track, let's break the sentiments down individually. I cannot promise any of this will make any sense, but lets just hope for the best!

1. Excitement!- I have found that the older I get, the less I have to be excited for. In general, when you are in elementary school, you cannot wait to be in high school, or get your drivers license, or turn 21. (Tangent disclaimer in 3...2...1...) 

   ok so maybe this is a buzzkill, but it's quite hilarious at the moment... I've been a bartender for many years and whenever someone showed up on their 21st birthdays, or close to it, they were always so proud to show off their ability  to drink, finally!!!. So for those beautiful souls, I would say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And congratulations.... you officially have NOTHING to look forward to anymore until retirement!!" brutal, yes, but always gets a strange look, and then a laugh  because. for one, it's the MF truth, and two, I get to see their faces as they go into deep contemplation mode but then of course I offer to make them a birthday shot on the house. I keep shit real, but not in a Debbie downer sort of way. annnnyyywaysss...

As perception-based as it actually is, my perception is that I find it harder and harder to be actually "excited" for things as I would have when I was younger.  Now this could be just me, because my life has followed a non-traditional timeline and path, therefore I may not be the best expert in this specific category...

 I will explain.. 

As a female, it is the general status quo, as young girls or young ladies, to be infatuated with/excited about the concept of meeting that special guy and getting married, the honeymoon, the biological clock ticking desire to become a mom...etc. 

Well, It's never been quite like that for me. I am 45 years old and have never been married. I was engaged twice, but marriage never happened. And the biological clock ticking... NEVER FELT IT, NOT EVEN CLOSE, NOT EVEN ONCE.  I literally never ever had any burning desire or feeling of obligation to generate offspring.lol. But that's just me. However, when I DID get pregnant and found out I was going to have a boy... talk about joyous bells ringing and absolute relief that I would not have to worry about pink bows and girly shit. I'm just not that type. Plus, I  already had two absolutely amazing and beautiful step daughters that taught me so much about being a parent, and it was such an honor to be able to love them like they were my own- I cannot express enough how ABSOLUTELY LUCKY I have been with the three children I have had the pleasure of being a part of their lives for so long, Somehow, somewhere, I did Something right to have my girls Carissa and Alicia, and my baby boy, Lysandro in my life!!! What a wonderful gift!!!!

Ok, side tracked yet again. I have a feeling this will be a 2-part subject, but for now..Onwaard we go!!

Where were we... excitement. I feel like I have the occasional tastes of excitement, like "I'm excited to see you" or "looking forward to this or that" but for the most part, nowhere near what excitement used to mean growing up... awe the good old days…

…Ok, balancing the playing board now. 

2. Sadness/Hurt/pain In the same respect, these may follow a similar pattern   When we are younger, the concept of sadness/hurt borders on dramatic but is usually short lived. As children, we tend to be more resilient when it comes to these emotions. Whether it is due to our notion that there is so much more out there in the world than to dwell on those feelings, or maybe it's because we don't have the capacity to truly understand the pain we are feeling or supposed to feel. Maybe it's neither. 

Again, for me, my degree of these emotions did not follow that pattern. It's been more of a bell-curve. I feel like growing up I was able to keep a pretty consistent handle on these emotions. Of course, there were certain deviations but as a whole, it was a pretty steady line. However…. That stability did NOT continue. Despite rough patches, here and there, things were manageable… until early 2021… talk about an unforgiving spike in this department. I won't go into too much detail but it began with the passing of my grandmother. Ohhhh that introduced me to a new understanding of the feeling of “loss”. I felt like a piece of me went with her. She was my first favorite person in the whole world. But because of that loss, my realization of the fact that I had no idea how to deal with that loss, led me here. I began writing again. To put the words I could not express out loud on paper, and to release all the hurt inside, in a way that was beautiful and honest, and unrepressed. This blog became my first outlet, my therapy, my voice, courage, fears and bizarre humor. But it made me feel better. So much came of it and still does. I've been published numerous times now and it's an amazing feeling everytime my hands hit the keys with something I need to deal with or an emotion I need to work through. Preserving my sanity and quieting the noise.

And in case that wasn't enough, almost exactly one year later, I lost my grandfather. He and I were extremely close as well and a very unique bond. The hardest part was not just losing him but the fact that my circumstances did not allow me to go to his funeral. Considering I was the type of granddaughter for him that normally would have been the first to show up and the last to leave, imagine the turmoil of not being able to attend at all. I dealt with that “guilt” for quite some time until again, writing saved me. Someone was looking to publish an anthology of works related to how writing can be therapeutic or assist with mental health. I submitted a piece in honor of my grandfather. It spoke of the man he was throughout his life until the very end. I was able to reflect on it at the end and by writing the piece, I told a story of what I WOULD have said at his funeral. That piece allowed for so much closure and in honoring him in such a way, the remorse and guilt subsided and his story would be forever memorialized on paper for the world to see.  This story was selected and published. I will post that story in a future blog.

For now, I will take a short intermission and continue in the next post. See you soon!

Take care!

The Last Song

It bore a lock.

Hidden, protected, impenetrable

It shined beyond its encasing

Too bright to stay hidden

Yet too hurt to expose itself

It stayed silent to all

But spoke softly to one.

Hovered in the shadows

Shined brightly with one

It hid from itself

Until a breath of air filled it from within

It danced in the moments

Floated on the breeze of renewal

Then stepped into the light.

The light of one other

Created a moment...

then another, 

then another,

then another...

then another.

Bold,

Beautiful

Fearless.

Then......................Nothing.....................

.................................................. Nothing at all........................

Unreciprocated.

Disregarded.

Abandoned..

Betrayed...

Broken....

Belittled....

Left in the darkness of the beginning...

But so much deeper than where it started....

(Anger never lives within this space...but occasionally it is occupied by pain)

Recognize it, feel it, then let it go.... but never let go of true love... embrace it when she shows herself to you... because it is a once in a lifetime type of love...

And if you don't answer when something knocks.. someone else Will... ALWAYS BE CERTAIN WITH YOUR WORDS AND YOUR INTENTIONS...

the pen is consistently mightier than the sword...

and Love shall conquer all....

take care. bloggees! and see you soon

Too Late

 It wasn't....

Then it almost was

Then It wanted to be

Then it wasn't.

Eternal Gratitiude

 Hello everyone or anyone! 

This one is going to be short but its not the amount of words, its what you do with them...

 and things that are necessary to say, should be. so here it goes...

If you were here for my posts a few years ago, know that the situations have changed but the meaning/purpose has not..

allow me to elaborate...

I spent 18 years of my life with the one who I thought was "the one" we never got married but we do share a child. I have nothing bad to say about this man because despite everything he has gone through, and that we have gone through, his true purpose in life is to be a wonderful father. And I can't say that he has not done everything in his power to be that person.  We have had some ridiculously difficult times and have not always seen eye to eye but the core of his heart has always been his kids. 

I recently lost my job, the week before my son's birthday and that was heart wrenching. The worst thing for a parent is to not be able to provide every piece of happiness you want them to have in their lives. So when I couldn't, it broke my heart.

But this feeling was short lived. 

I wasn't going to have kids. 

But I met someone that changed my mind for a millisecond. That millisecond led to the absolute most beautiful part of my life. And as you all know, there is nothing that I "preach" more than gratitude. 

I am so grateful for everything he made happen this month. For never making me feel like I failed even though I sometimes did feel that way. His inclusion of my presence, when he did not need to spoke volumes. He showed our almost adult son the man he truly is and in turn, opened up a greater understanding of who he truly is to our son-the guy I met many moons ago.

So today's blog is about nothing more than gratitude. I am grateful for the gift this man has given me. I am grateful for everything we taught each other. Grateful for the love we shared during our time together. Grateful for the way we can currently act like adults (for once) and try to change the way our son sees us as parents, as ridiculous as we were, and as much as we sometimes hurt each other, he needs to understand that things weren't always as crappy as our actions made them seem.

But I couldn't be more proud to have chosen this man to be the father of my child. I never even considered it before I met him. 

And he has come so far, and has such a good life to live ahead of him. And even though we parent separately now, it does not take away from the fact that he is the reason for the greatest gift that exists in my life...

So I thank him from the bottom of my heart.

My Greatest Gift

Remember when we spent every hour of our lives together?

When the only thing I could give you was my time…

Teaching you everything I knew,

Showing you the beautiful things in the world

Trying my best to protect you from our life?

Nothing that happened to us was our choice

But I would never choose to spend that time with anyone but you. 

I wanted to give you so much more

But that is not what happened.

Its not my place to  be your best friend.

I just want you to be happy-

Or at least as close to it as we are capable of.

Today I regret not giving you enough.

Not giving you EVERYTHING YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE.

Feeling Like I wasn't enough.

But then I look at you…

And hug you

And feel the beauty in your heart.

And it is the reason why I know I did nothing wrong.

Because perfection does not come from the mistakes we have made

Or the things we never had or wanted,

Or could have done differently.

Because whatever I did, 

I created you…

And there is nothing more perfect in this world

Than the heart that you have

And the happiness you bring me.

You are my perfection….

And never let anyone tell you otherwise…

I am sooo proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are amazing. And I love you so much.

My beautiful son...

Traumatic Experiences-Reframed...

 When do we reach our limits? When do we get to the point where we just will not tolerate the bullshit anymore? And does everyone get to that point or do some people just keep taking it and neglect their personal needs?

I for one have put up with more than I should have. But on the same note, I no longer put up with anyone else's nonsense. Sometimes your breaking point is a pivotal moment and sometimes it is nothing more than dealing with a life that you know you deserve so much better.

I speak about gratitude quite often.  I truly believe you cannot progress in life unless you are grateful for the things you currently have. 

As I mentioned before, I don't disclose everything about myself all at once and my openness is generally tied to a subject which I feel strongly about.  But today I am going to let you in on a very personal, difficult time in my life. My goal is not to sway you in any way shape or form but to provide an experience that quite possibly,  someone out there can relate to- as difficult as it may be, it is always better to know that there is someone out there that has gone through a similar situation. It's more therapeutic than you could ever imagine.

So my dear bloggees… strap on your seat belts, it's about to be a bumpy ride..

In 2017, my world literally came crashing down. My partner at the time was recovering from a life threatening illness, neither of us could work..( and prior to this, he was the lead paramedic for a professional NFL team, and I was a nurse at a county jail) needless to say, we had been doing quite well for ourselves up until this time. But, what most people don't realize is that as humans we are all one bad paycheck away from disaster at any time in our lives. 

Our mortgage lender was literally the most shady lender in the history of the world and when we tried to modify, we were denied only to find out they had modified our mortgage and kept the money for themselves.--- FYI- I AM writing a book about the whole situation.

Moving on… our house was sold under our feet and the money we were supposed to automatically get, we ended up having to fight for it in court for almost a year. By that time we were evicted from the home we raised our kids in and worked so hard to have. 

From that point on, we spent 3 years living in our cars or anywhere we could afford to rest our heads. Despite the absolutely unfortunate situation, I did everything I could to keep my son in the highest of spirits and try to give him the best of everything I possibly could-focusing on the “fun” and treating it like an adventure rather than a tragedy.

November 2020, I made the very difficult decision to leave California- the state I was born and raised in and was completely faithful to, until the sentiment was no longer reciprocated. I uprooted my family, taking them away from the family we always knew and never looked back.

As difficult as it was, it truly was one of the greatest choices I ever made for my family.I ended up in (my thought process at the time) one of the most tombstone-esque towns imaginable, giving up my beautiful stilettos because as I learned, you cannot wear stilettos in the desert- might a well be flats.

But it gave me the opportunity to start over. I got a job as a bartender in one of the biggest small town casinos and I got to know the community.  As “BFE” as it was, it provided an opportunity to start fresh and re-establish myself and more importantly, learn some things about myself that never had the chance to shine before. I finally got to live “MY” life.

There were some major changes to my family dynamic. Changes that were literally soul crushing and traumatic. But…

I survived.

And my driving force was gratitude… gratitude for the rundown trailer I lived in that provided a steady roof over my family's head. Gratitude for the landlord that threw away all of our leftover stuff when we moved out-but first gave me an opportunity to live in a safe, clean, very cute apartment which was the first stable dwelling we lived in in almost 4 years. Gratitude for the job I had in a city which was more than an hour and a half away and I had to commute, which sucked because I hate driving and it gives me anxiety. lol. But I busted my butt when I was there… and it didn't go unnoticed. 

Today, June 2025, I manage the beverage department of the biggest, most recognized casino in northern Nevada and i now live in the same city. lol

  And going back to the original topic of this blog… I could not be here if I accepted anyone else's bullshit, or let anyone tell me what I can or cannot do… I had the goal of providing stability to my son, and even though some months are harder than others, I have done it. I still do it. And no matter what your circumstances are… you can too!!!

Take care little world! You are so much stronger than you even know! And I am here for you  if you ever need to talk about anything!!

See you soon!

What Lies Beneath

 Today I am going to touch on a very sensitive and personal subject. But before I do, I want everyone to remember that no one is immune to the things that can haunt us forever. We are all human and as strong as we are, or as we convince ourselves that we are, we are all still in fact human, and to feel, hurt, bleed, bend, break, bust or just to be, means that we should accept that there are things within our lives which we have no control over. Even if we think we do at the time, it can almost literally come back to bite us in the ass later.

Trauma

What does it mean? Cambridge dictionary defines it as severe and lasting emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience, or a case of such shock happening:

But just like any other word, it is not easily defined by one definition. 

Most people understand the general concept of trauma- something happens which has a lasting effect on the emotional wellbeing or psyche of a person.  But there is a sneaky part to trauma, a  dark side that can be far more debilitating than the initial action of it. It can lay dormant for any undetermined amount of time and then BAM!!! You find yourself 5150 in some mental institution.

While this is a possibility, it is a more extreme, although not uncommon, set of circumstances.  

Let's talk about “June” for a minute. June is a very strong minded, independent and motivated woman.  She is single and raising her child by herself. She has overcome an indescribable amount of hardships to get where she is and from the outside looking in, she embodies the image of a well put-together, and respectable woman who means business.

Last year she made the tough decision to leave her partner of 20 years. Despite her absolute love and dedication to him, she had to do what was best for her and her child.  On the outside, their love seemed solid and sure, and one of envy for those who yearned for the type of love they had. 

But…

June was enduring turbulence and turmoil. Disrespect, disregard, resentment, and agony. Emotionally tortured by the man she loved like she never loved anyone before. She gave him everything and it was never enough. He treated her like she was never enough. He blamed her for his unhappiness and for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. He pushed her to the edge of her sanity, to the brink of emotional death, and to the point where she got lost in his lies and tried to convince her that she was overthinking and wanted her to believe she was crazy.

She had enough. She knew his “truths” were not true. She knew she was not the problem. And she knew that she would suffocate in sadness and loneliness if she stayed with him.

So she left him.

 

A year later she had moved on with her life. Re-established stability and began living for herself. She met people and even made a friend. They got close and she opened up about a lot of the things she went through.  She began to feel safe in their presence- something she did not allow herself to do with anyone, but she knew if she truly wanted to move on, she had to allow at least one person in her life again. 

Months had passed and things were going well. They were having fun but not requiring any emotional or relationship type commitments from each other and it worked perfectly for both of them. It was the one thing they both valued was the ability to be so close to someone with both wanting nothing more than to make the other person’s life better. 

One day, June got a text. It said her friend felt disrespected and that their time was not valued because they had to be somewhere but they were late because they were spending time with June. 

While this text seemed ridiculous and without merit, it did not hold any water on face value. What it did do was awaken a pain within Junes chest that reminded her of all the times she got blamed while she was with her partner.  All the things her partner accused her of that she never did but still, everything was her fault.  Suddenly, all the hurt and pain and sadness she used to feel came back to her. Like a flood of every emotion she never felt. The tears she held back and the tears she allowed to fall, all came out at the same time and she was crushed. Again. 

It was as if she was in the same place she had been a year ago. But this time, it was present in her new life, the life she created for herself, infected by the trauma which lay dormant until now. 

June had no idea the pain still existed inside her. She thought by leaving the cause of the pain behind, that it would stay there. But instead it came through so much worse than before because it was so unexpected. She had adapted to the consistent pain of her partner because it was always there. But this time, it was not supposed to be there. This person was not supposed to be able to make her feel that way. This person was supposed to be her safe space, and in one text, it changed everything. 

June’s story is unfortunately not uncommon.  People who have gone through traumatic events or are living in abusive relationships have no idea of the darkness that lies beneath even after the event or relationship is over. It is truly frightening the effect trauma can have on you and your future. 

While this message is not intended to scare you into being afraid of when it is going to rear its ugly head in the future, just know that it is possible. Be aware that if it does ever come up again, it may be due to a  possibly unknown trigger.  The positive side of this is that when it does, allow yourself to live in the moment of pain, cry if you have to, seek a friend if you have a good one, and know that this recognition is one of the first stages of healing… and remember, you’re not going to feel this way forever.

Take Care and Love yourself!